I HATE MICROSOFT EXCEL!!!

I've been struggling with my Econ 171 HW since 4PM!!! (with short breaks in between). I'm SOOOOOOO frustrated!! AAAAAAAARG!!! Does anyone know how to do any of this econ stuff???? Please help me!!! PLEASE!! I'm so frustrated, I've given up for the night. I guess I'll move onto my LSAT homework. GIR!

So what am I doing blogging? I have no clue.. I don't even have anything to say. Just need to do anything but homework for a while. Even blah-ing. BLAH!! BLAH!!! I might as well just go and do my homework. *han soom*

talk about lovin' man.. tee hee~ thanks gc!!

X bYuLgZr X: how are u?
GGCL9: im sick
GGCL9: it was raining mad in machupicchu
GGCL9: i had to stay in a train and a bus for like 5 hours in wet clothes
GGCL9: but i defaced a wonder of the world for you
X bYuLgZr X: u did??
X bYuLgZr X: u DID??
X bYuLgZr X: wat did u put??
X bYuLgZr X: and did u take a pic?!?
GGCL9: i didnt put anything
X bYuLgZr X: aww
GGCL9: i stole ya a little rock from there
X bYuLgZr X: hahaha
X bYuLgZr X: YAY!!!!
X bYuLgZr X: YAY!! reallY???
X bYuLgZr X: COOOL!!

hehe~ WOW! i get a rock from one of the 7 great wonders of the world.. COOOOL!!!

WARNING! lots of complaining ahead...

Yesterday, I felt incredibly trapped and alone. I don't know why, but i just had this urge to go driving, but since I do not own a car, that was impossible. And the fact that I couldn't go anywhere made it all the more frustrating to me. I almost cried, literally, because I couldn't go for a drive. Talk about major PMS. xP

I guess, just like most guys, I've been attributing all my ups and downs and major mood swings and major food binges as a result of my PMS. I know it's going to happen very soon. It makes me annoyed and frustrated that we have to endure that once every month! The mood swings, the irritation, the cramps, and bloating... -__-;; and guys complain when they get small colds every once in a while. You know what I have to say to you guys?? Suck it up~!!

Why am I in this weird mood? I'm tellin ya, it's the PMS. Even my writing style is different. blah blah blah! I'm complaining too much.

I had a hard time waking up again this morning. xP But I made it to class like 10 minutes late.. not like I stayed awake.. in either of my classes today. Why am I so sleepy? It's not like I didn't sleep at all. I got like.. 4 hours, which is usually good enough for me. Maybe some of my sour mood is from the fact that I went to class for no reason.. I didn't get anything from either lecture, and it was a big fat waste of time for me, and I was rude to the prof's who had to watch me sleep during their class. T-T How sad..blah..

I've been feeling really BLAH lately. BLAH!

Pray, I must....

I have a disorder. It's called cannot-wake-up-in-the-morning disorder. -__-;; i set my alarm for 7:40 AM so that I could wake up early and have some time to do some stuffs before work at 9 AM. I woke up at 9:30 AM and barely made it into work by 10. T-T

I have problems. It's not like I absolutely cannot wake up. I know I can. I've done it before. So why do I lie around in bed when I've hit the snooze for the umpteenth time? *sorry hyewon* She woke me up like 10 times this morning.. T-T I need to get my priorities in order. I know that I can do without that much sleep. I've done it before, and I can do it now. OR I don't have to stay up so late. I should sleep early so that I can wake up early... -__-;; serious problems, I'm tellin ya..

So what can I do to remedy this problem? I don't know. What can I do? Give myself an incentive for waking up? But what could I give myself that would make it more beneficial for me to wake up? Any suggestions anyone??

Luptuous told me that I'm very vague on my blogs... hrmm... I guess this is true... I was just musing about that a few days ago too.. hehe~

So why do I even bother putting up these blogs? Is it for me? Is it for other people? Maybe I want to be a little out there, yet be a little mysterious so that people will want to get to know me better. Or maybe it's just some sick and twisted paradox--trying to get myself out there, without really doing so. Or maybe it doesn't matter why I put my semi-truthful thoughts up for everyone to see. Who knows? I guess it's just a time-killer.

I've been trying to figure out myself. I think I should stop though, but I keep trying to figure out why I do/feel/say the things I do.. Is it a self-torturing method? I don't know. Haha~ Does it matter? Probably not...

So why do we do the things we do? This has been the topic most on my mind lately.. Motivation, purpose...I want to figure these things out...

Prayer is what I need.

I'm a senior...

I think slowly, but surely, this is starting to sink in. There are so many things that I wanted to do, but haven't gotten a chance to do yet. So many people that I've meant to try and get to know better, but I haven't. I know that many seniors go through this, but I guess now I know what they're talking about.

It's strange. I'm a senior now. I know that I've come a long way.. even from last year. Yet, I find myself still clinging to things that don't matter. For example, clothes and my appearance have become even more important to me as the days pass by. I know that I could blame the media and society, etc etc. But, that shouldn't matter to me. I don't know.. it gets harder...I feel like I have matured alot--which seems the norm, since I have been living for 21 years. More life means more experience means that you do get wiser.. or at least I would hope so. But at the same time, I feel soo immature too. This goes back to my clinging to things that don't matter. This whole summer, I learned about the sufficiency of God's grace.. I guess I still don't fully understand it. It's so frustrating...

I don't know.. (that's my favorite phrase, btw.. if you haven't noticed by now) As I sit at work, reading other people's blogs and updating mine.. there must be something bigger than this. In fact, I know it. So why do I feel this need to connect with other people? Even if the other person doesn't realize that I've connected with them, just.. that feeling that I understand what that person is saying makes me feel more relieved almost. I don't know why though. Why do we feel the need to be connected?

Hrmm... why am I sitting here with these pointless thoughts? I don't know. The fact that I'm hungry might have something to do with it.

My LSAT books came today.. *woah momma~* This is going to be a fun semester...

Wow.. this week went by fast.....

Would you survive a horror movie? Find out @ She's
Crafty

Sorry to say it, but you'd probably bite it less that halfway through the flick. Whether it's because you tend to panic in stressful sitches or because you'd prefer not to grab a knife and start stabbing back, you're not getting out alive. Extreme fear would have you frozen in terror, allowing the murderer time to fix himself a sandwich before 86-ing you. But hey, it's not all bad. You're non-violent and that's nice. At least you don't have to live the rest of your life with memories of all your friends hacked to pieces. And you won't have to embarass yourself in any sub-par sequels. See, even being the victim of a homicidal rage has it's good points!

PUAH~ i'm non-violent y'all. maybe i took the test wrong....

*sigh* so i'm back at work today. well, i was here yesterday too, but there was stuff to do, i suppose. today, there's not much stuff. haha, but it's all good.. i still get paid. hehe~

i've been struggling trying to finish up my missions testimony. for some reason, i can't seem to find the right words to convey what i'm feeling. because, yes, i'm glad that i went on missions. but i don't know.. i still have these bad feelings. i can't even describe what it is i'm feeling, because quite frankly, i don't know. it's just been really up and down. there will be times when i remember japan, and i'll be so happy that i went. then there are those times when i wonder still why i went and why i don't feel like i've changed at all. it's hard to try and balance out the two. i haven't found a middle ground yet. i'm just kinda of floating around in midair somewhere, but not anywhere. (i'm sure this makes sense to anyone...) blah.. i don't know. it's not like i expect people to understand, but i guess i sorta wish there was some way to get rid of these feelings. some way to find the words or the right thing to do or say or.. yeah.. just some way to get it out so that it wouldn't be bugging me... you know what i mean? hehe, probably not.

seriously though.. these past few weeks, i've just been elated too. (i go thru MAJOR swings) but i look around and see all these blessings. seriously--blessings heaped upon blessings. and i'm just so amazed. i wonder what God sees when He sees me. most likely i don't make Him happy always, but i would like to think that He's kind of proud of me... you know? like the way my daddy looks at me--i know he's not always too happy with what i've done with myself, and he wishes that i could see why he wants me to do the things he wants me to do, and he wishes that we could communicate better, but.. underneath all that, he's proud of me. i guess that should be my goal.. to make it so that God can be proud of me... this is a very random thought that literally appeared from thin air.. hehe~ this is what happens when there is nothing to do...

Lord help me to make you proud.. I want so much to be secured in Your Love. To know that You will never let me go, but sometimes I take advantage of that, too. x( I wish that I could find a balance. Lord, help me to be compelled by Your Love. That all of my time, down to the very second, is used in fulfilling Your Plan. I want so much to be changed... Lord change me~

i just got back from awana retreat.. wow. it was so nice.. x) just to get away from berkeley and get some nice fun awana family lovin' in. with some newbies, it was nice to get to know them a little better as well. exciting~! heh, i can see that this year's gonna be lots of fun already. yee hee~

i guess i'm still going thru my ups and downs. it's so strange. i can get all worked up about the strangest things.. *sigh* wow.. it's already the first day of awana tm. i'm excited.. x) it's going to be such a great year...

today pastor john came to speak to us. it was good. a good reminder as to why we do the things we do sometimes. we're commanded to imitate Christ in all things that we do.. last night's fiC message was on time mgmt. woah.. something that i definitely need to work on..

i don't know. i'm finding myself in the middle....lookin around and there's all these big monsters around me. but then.. i'm not scared.. i can overcome! x) because God is with me always... Amen?! AMEN~~~!!

i know that 9/11 was yesterday, but to be totally honest... i really didn't feel that much. i think it's the same as last year. it didn't hit me until afterwards. i remember sept. 12 much more clearly than 9/11. i think it took me a day for it to actually sink in. just the feelings that i felt that day was all coming back to me today... so weird...

i'm at work again.. just sittin around. cuz.. you kno, i can. i donno. i think i'm just really tired. i've been going thru major ups and downs lately. it's been really takin a lot out of me. i don't really know what it is, but i do know that i need to start reading the Bible and praying. xP i really wanted to journal, but i haven't found the time to do it yet. just a lot of things, i suppose. it's been kinda hectic in my head lately. sometimes it'll be really empty. then all of a sudden, i'll be filled with all this doubt and all this fear and just.. uncertainty about everything. it's kinda weird... some days i'll be really positive, and that same day i'll fall into this deep pit of self-pity or fear or.. i donno some other bad feeling. i haven't quite put my finger on it, but i think it may have something to do with my age. T-T i'm just gettin old.

i want to be transformed, not conformed...

doode.. seriously.. God is so crazy...

last night, i was having so much trouble with my econ hw. and i most likely didn't do it right. and my printer doesn't work so i had asked luptuous if she could print it for me, and she said yes.. but it was 4 am and i was still workin on my hw that was due at 8 in the morning. so.. i was like.. "greaaat.. what am i going to do now?" i was staring at my printer and i was like.. "ok. let's just try it. maybe it will work. if not, maybe i can just email it to my gsi or prof or something." the original problem with my printer is that the black ink won't work. but last night, for some reason, all my pages turned out perfect. *wow* and then i walk into class (an hr late again) but i find out the hw's not due. *double wow* so even tho i stressed for no reason last night, at least i have time to look over my hw and see if i can fix some of the things. *WOW*

i got my pictures!!! but.. a lot of them are really blurry and bad.. T-T but there are a few good ones.. and also i'm missing a roll, so i have to go back tomorrow and see if it's there. if they lost it, i'll be really sad!

anywho... I GOT MY PICTURES!!!! and go-kun is SOOOoOooOooo adorable!

my missions teammates were all pretty crazy.. but this one topped them all. (sorry caryn!.. altho knowing you, you're quite proud of this accomplishment) this is the funniest email i've read in a long time. haha~ so.. yeah, here it is.. DISCLAIMER: only half of this is true.. haha~

Good Sunday afternoon, ladies (and whatever day and time it is for you, Ireland).

So I was just thinking about you three as I spent many hours yesterday watching my tapes. I didn't remember half of the stuff I have been watching. Remember the old guy from the grocery store that talked to us for like half an hour about China? Or remember the arm-wrestling tournament in the apartment (which I still think Natalie DID NOT win). Or remember the time Elizabeth didn't get a lot of sleep and walked all the way to the train station before realizing that she had forgotten her trousers?

Anyway, I've been time coding the tapes and have discovered that Natalie wins the award for longest testimonies, speeches, etc. Haejin wins the award for sticking her tongue out EVERY SINGLE TIME the camera comes near her. And Elizabeth gets a prize for the team member captured most often doing nothing.

Hee Hee! I really am excited about the video, but it is coming along very, very, badi slowly!!

And I had tea for lunch today in rememberance of Japan. Then I got my pet goldfish and grilled it whole and ate it. . . with some grass that I said was seaweed. Then, I covered myself in honey and sat in a sauna to get that hot and humid feeling of Kobe. Ahh, the memories.

Then, this morning at church when everyone else was singing "Victory in Jesus" or something like that, I belted out "Shu wa wa ga ka i nu shi . . ." to the tune of "America the Beautiful." I don't think they appreciated my psalmadic efforts. (Do you like the word I made up? . . psalmadic).

Well, things here are going well. Tomorrow we will shave our pet donkey. Either that or just go to class and study.

Oh, and there was a Korean exchange couple at dinner today and I followed them around the salad bar whispering "Cum-sah-ha-knee-dad" (I can't remember how to spell it). I think they thought I was autistic. That's okay, most people do.

Well, friends, I'll check you later. I just wanted to send out a Konnichiwa across the lands.

Oh, yeah, I got a two page spread in this week's school newspaper about Japan. I can send it to you guys if you have Quark Express.

Check you later. Caryn.


she is SO funny!! i miss them so much!!!! ahh!! ok, when i get my pics developed, i'm going to scan a few and post them and talk a little bit more in depth about my team members.. SO awesome!!!! AHHH~~ i miss them!!

so i've wasted my whole day...i was planning on being all productive and going to the library after awana prayer meeting.. but let me tell you what i did....

awana prayer meeting was at sylvia and isabel's. so afterwards, i went to say hello to luptuous. but i fell asleep there. and guess what time i woke up? close to 3. so i go home, and i was determined to be productive still. but guess what i did? i fooled around with my computer. at around 4:30 jae came over to fix my keyboard and mouse (thank you jae!!) so now it works (yay!) then, i was like, "ok.. NOW i'm going to be productive.." but it's now 6 and i have no idea what i've been doing for the past hour. T-T

i don't know what's wrong with me recently. there are so many things that i have to do, but i'm just sitting around doing nothing. it's not that i don't want to, but for some reason, i really can't get myself motivated. and it's only the 3rd week of school! what am i going to do when things get harder? xP i donno.. lately, i just feel really empty inside. i don't know what it is. or.. maybe i do know what it is, but too lazy to do anything about it. i find myself in the situation that i find myself in usually midsemeter. it worries me that everything's just begun, but i already feel like i've been here forever. the same feelings of shiftlessness, emptiness, lack of motivation... already... i don't know. i wish i could just shake it off.... i really want to be different this year. i know i say that every year.. but it really is my last year, you know? what am i going to do without berkeley??

God is so great....

I got this in an email recently...(this is from one my missions team members, Natalie)
GUESS WHAT!!! Mrs. Yamashita is preparing to begin her baptismal class! Isn't that awesome? And Pastor Takiura emailed saying that this fall their family (father included)is making a trip to the Northeastern U.S. and wanted to know if we could help host them when they're in Pittsburgh. Sorry, I'm not trying to make you jealous... just thought you'd be interested... I'll let you know when they come and how it goes.

I don't know if you guys remember me talking about this woman. She was the one with the 3 kids that came to church but wasn't saved. I remember wondering what it was that kept her back, and I also asked you guys to pray for her. God has definitely answered that prayer!!!! HE IS SO GREAT!!! Please keep her in prayer so that she may continue to seek Him. And when she finally accepts Him, that she will fully realize the wondrous thing that has happened. And for her husband and children to follow her example!

In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.
~Luke 15:10

uuuugggggghhhhh coffee not good for my stomach.. T-T

i wanted to post this a long time ago, but i had forgotten.. this is one of the sermons we heard.. i thought it was awesome...for us, it was just a nice reminder. it was our last Sunday there in Japan, and I was feeling pretty useless. I felt like I had done such a bad job in trying to "represent" and so forth. It gave me a chance to re-evaluate some of my motives. so these are the notes that he (Pastor Pennington, a missionary in Japan) gave us.

"Compelled by Christ's Love"

The grace of God is one of the most important doctrinal themes of the Bible. Of course, we believe that we are saved by grace alone as taught in Eph. 2:8-9. When we think about God's grace, we usually apply it to our salvation in Christ. Indeed this is the great truth of the Bible. It is one of the essential teachings of the Reformation and our reformed faith. However, the Bible also clearly teaches that as we are saved by faith alone, we also live our Christian lives by grace. We are not able to live our Christian life on the basis of our own efforts and good works. We cannot live the Christian life bye "trying harder" or "praying more", etc. Deep down, we have been taught to believe that success in the Christian life depends on our discipline and faithfulness and commitment. Oh yes, we need some help from God along the way, but basicially, it is up to us. However, contrary to that way of thinking and living the Christian life, consider the testimony of the Apostle Paul in I Corinth. 15:10, "But by the grace of God, I am what I am". Do we really believe that? Let's examine our attitudes regarding this important aspect of the grace of God in our daily Christian lives.

Living by grace rather than works means that you are free from the performance treadmill. It means that God has alreeady given you an "A" when you deserve an "F". It means that you and I do not have to perform certain spiritual disciplines in order to earn God's favor and approval. It means that Jesus Christ has already done all of that for us. We are loved and accepted unconditionally by God through the merit of Jesus alone. Nothing that we ever do will cause God to love us any more or any less. He loves us strictly by His grace given to us through Jesus Christ.

How do we feel and respond to this Scriptural emphasis on grace? Among other reactions, some of us may feel a little nervous and uncomfortable. We may feel, "Well, if all the pressure is off because all of my effort will never earn me one single blessing from God. So, why not just slack off, and even stop doing the things that I need to do to live a disciplined Christian life?"

Recognition of this human tendency in the light of God's grace is very clear in Scripture. This possibility that God's grace can be misunderstood and even abused is a reality that the Scripture does not ignore, and neither should we. So this is the focus of today's message.

The apostle Paul wrote the entire 6th chapter of Romans to answer the question, "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?" Up to this point, the main point of his teaching in Romans is that justification is by faith in Jesus Christ alone. Then he makes the sweeping statement in 5:20, "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more." So why did he even raise the issue in the previous question? he realized that his unqualified presentation of the grace of God left him open to being misunderstood. he knew that his readers (at least some of them) might respond with the attitude, "Well, if what you say is true, then let's go out and sin even more. Since the more we sin, the more we cause God's grace to abound."

In fact, in a sinful world filled with sinful people, this kind of response is always a possibility. I wonder though if it is precisely fear of this attitude that causes some Christians to change the doctrine of grace into a doctrine of works. Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones...says the following in response to the question, "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may abound?"

"The true preaching of the gospel of salvation by grace alone always leads to the possibility of this charge being brought against it...True preaching of the New Testament gospel of salvation will lead some to misunderstand and misinterpret it to mean that becausee you are saved by grace along, it does not matter at all what you do..."

This same charge was brought against Martin Luther and all other great preachers of the Reformation. So what was the solution to this potential problem that the doctrine of grace may well lead to license and abuse? It is not to add legalism to grace. It is rather to be so gripped by the magnificence and generosity of God's grace that we respond out of love and gratitude rather than out of a sense of duty. Jesus said, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments."

Because of our legalistic natures, the tendency is to load down the gospel of grace ith a lot of "oughts" and "shoulds". "I ought to do such & such"; "I should do more of that"; "I ought be more committed, more disciplined, more obedient to Christ, etc." But when we think and teach and live this way, we are in effect substituting duty, obligation, works for a loving response to God's grace in Christ.

So we want to be very clear on this point. We do want to practice and cultivate commitment, discipline, and obedience in our relationship with Christ. We do want to submit our wills to the lordship of Jesus Christ in every area of life. We are to practice commitments in all areas of our lives that flow out of this basic commitment to the lordship of Christ. For example, integrity and fairness in business relationships; acting in love in family and church relationships. But I am committed in these areas out of a grateful response to God's grace poured out through Christ. I am not trying to earn God’s blessing by means of my obedience or commitment. This is a subtle, but very real difference in the way we approach our Christian duties in response to grace.

There is an interesting dichotomy that creeps into our thinking and practices. We tend to preach grace, salvation by grace alone, to non-Christians, but duty once a person comes to saving faith in Christ and becomes a Christian. It sometimes seems that there is plenty of grace if you are not yet a Christian. However, once you have become a Christian, then there seems to be all kinds of laws that you must obey and many duties that you must perform. No wonder that some Christians at times feel that they were better off before conversion. We speak of the gift of salvation, and cost of discipleship. Of course, the “cost of discipleship” is not necessarily an unbiblical expression. It’s the unspoken connotation that often goes with it. The unbiblical idea sometimes gets conveyed that God’s grace gets us inside the doors of thee Kingdom; but after that, it’s all by our own blood, sweat, and tears; i.e., by our own efforts.

What then is the relationship between grace and spiritual discipline and commitment? Let’s briefly look at two passages of Scripture that may provide some help in answering this important question.

The first is Romans 12:1 “Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship.” Remember that Paul wrote this letter to believers in Rome to help them understand more fully the salvation that they already possessed. In fact, the first eleven chapters show that salvation is entirely by God’s grace through faith in Jesus Christ. Then he follows by dealing with various questions that his teaching on grace would raise. Not until he had spent 11 chapters teaching thee gospel of the grace of God to people who were already believers did Paul then ask them to completely commit themselves to God as living sacrifices. Here in Romans 12:1 he urges, “Offer you bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God.”

A contemporary translation interprets the phrase "offer your bodies" as "make a decisive, once for all, dedication of your bodies." But it is even more than that. The phrase "living sacrifice" conveys the idea of a "perpetual sacrifice, never to be neglected or recalled" and a "constant dedication." So God through the apostle is calling for a decisive, once for all dedication that is to be constantly reaffirmed and kindled afresh. That’s just about as high a level of commitment as one could expect. And the basis or motivation for such a total commitment is the "mercy of God", not a deep sense of duty. Such a response is based on a heartfelt gratitude to God rather than a sense of obligation. Now the fact is that we do not have a duty and obligation to God. He is sovereign ruler of the universe and our Creator and Lord. But he motivates us to obey His laws and precepts on the basis of His mercy in Christ. "In view of God’s mercy"...Submission to the lordship of Jesus Christ over our lives in in response to the love and mercy of God. Our motivation for commitment, discipline, and obedience is important to God. In fact, I think that we can safely say that it is more important than our performance.
Read I Chronicles 28:9; I Corinthians 4:5
God searches the hearts and understands every motive.

Let’s look at the second passage of Scripture which was part of our Scripture reading -- II Corinthians 5:14-15.

There is a lot of spiritual truth in this passage, but the essential teaching is that Christ’s love compels us to live no longer for ourselves but for Him who died for us and was raised again. The main subject is once again, commitment to the lordship of Christ in every area of our lives. But again, what is the motivating principle for this kind of commitment that will enable a person to live no longer for himself, but instead to live for God?

We are told here that it is the love of Christ that compels us to make this kind of commitment and to carry it out day after day. Compel is a strong word that often has a negative connotation associated with force or coercion. But the meaning here is very positive. It is not the fear of consequences or even the expectation of reward that motivates us. Rather it is the love of Christ that more and more becomes the governing influence and the driving force of our commitment and obedience. "We love because He first loved us."

A contemporary translation of the first phrase of II Corinthians 5:14 is: "The love of Christ continuoulsy constrains me." The word "continuously" is the key. It indicates that the unconditional love of Christ for us is the constant wellspring of motivation for our everyday commitment and obedience to Christ. This is what compels and impels us, who believe in Christ, to live for Him who died for us and rose again.

Let’s read Romans 4:7-8. This is a quote from Psalm 32. "Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him." What a great encouragement to know that God will never judge me for any of my sins. I know that the old sinful nature still has a strong hold on my life as a Christian. I know that I need the daily sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in my life. However God will never count my sins of selfishness, pride, impatience, etc, against me. Knowing and believing that should cause us to stop and offer a prayer of deep thanksgiving to God for His infinite grace.

In addition, we will ask God to purge us from those old sinful traits. We will ask Him to help us become more and more aware of specific sin in our lives. With the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, we will "put those sins to death", as Paul encourages us in Romans. 8:13. We will be compelled by the love of Christ to get ride of those sins and to become more like Christ.

God is worthy of my love and obedience because of who He is. Read Revelation 4:11 "...for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being."

When we think about "growing in grace," we often associate it with growth in our Christian character. It certainly has something of this meaning. However, a more accurate meaning is to continually grow in our understanding and acceptance of God’s grace. It means to grow in our understanding that we do not deserve anything from God. Rather, as we are saved by His grace alone, we are also enabled to live our daily lives as Christians depending on God’s unmerited, undeserved, and unearned grace alone.

May we all grow in the grace of Christ in this sense. And as we do, we will also grow in our motivation to obey God with a new sense of gratitude and reverence to Him. Our obedience in this life will always be imperfect. In the same way, our motives will never be consistently pure. There will continue to be times when our genuine love and reverence for God will be mixed up with motives of selfish pride in trying to earn our acceptance with Him.

But recognizing that, we can move more and more towards grace motives. Let’s begin to think daily about the implications of the grace of God in our lives and witness for Him...memorize and meditate often on our Scripture passages for today: Romans 12:1 and II Corinthians 5:14-15. Let’s pray for ourselves and for one another, asking God to motivate us more and more by His grace and love. As we grow in the grace of Christ in this way, we will discover that it is the love of Christ that compels us to live daily, not for ourselves, but for Him who died for us and was raised again.

just got back from dinner with the other summer missions ppl.. had such a nice time. lots of talking.. lots of reflecting.. lots of things to pray about...