what's going on?

to address jae's comment..
it's actually called "sleep paralysis" (night terror is when you wake up in a cold sweat with no recollection of the dream.. in my case, i always remembered what happened.) I found this online

Sleep Paralysis:
The characteristics of sleep paralysis are as follows:

Inability to move or speak for 30 seconds - 3 minutes
Speech is difficult or almost impossible
Happens before falling asleep or just after waking up
Can be hereditary
Can be brought on by stress
Sleep paralysis is the experience of waking up (usually form a dream) and feeling paralyzed, except for being able to breathe and move the eyes. Hypnogogic hallucinations and sleep paralysis may occur together. These conditions are common in people with narcolepsy but can also effect others, particularly people who are sleep-deprived. Although a pretty terrifying event, these events are not physically harmful. There are two major types of sleep paralysis: common (typical) also known as CSP and hallucinatory (hypnagogic) sleep paralysis known as HSP.

Differences between CSP and HSP.

CSP is common and universal, HSP is rare and seems to be geographically episodic.
CSP is only unnerving for the sleeper but HSP is accompanied by a nightmare like hallucination.
CSP is of relatively short duration where HSP can last as long as seven or eight minutes.

One of the most important differences between Night Terrors and CSP is that CSPs occurs in Stage one of sleep and Night Terrors occur in stage four.

Different cultures throughout time have interpreted HSPs as different spirits or events.

Ancestral ghosts - Southeast Asians
Hag - Irish and Scottish
Cats - Chinese
Spectral foxes - Japanese
Djinn - Arabs
Guilt - Romans and the Egyptians
Witchcraft - Mexicans
Vampires - Europeans
Demons - Medieval Europe

HSPs are usually a vision of a small creature that sits on the victims chest. The creature then either compresses the chest or attempts to strangulate the victim. Almost all attacks have been reported by people sleeping on their backs.

at least i know the cause of the sleep paralysis - sleep deprivation.

but i donno where i would fall in b/c i've had dreams of things trying to strangle me.. but it wasn't a small creature.. sometimes it was my blankets and sometimes it was a group of little demon-like looking things (think anastasia). and the time i talked to something it was a big thing with horns. i couldn't see its face.. just saw the horns. it grabbed me behind the neck and pulled me up to his face as he roared in anger (for questioning him). his face morphed into someone i knew too..

am i scaring you? i guess the time is right.. x) haha~

last night i had so much stuff to do so i decided to take a nap so i could stay up and study. i went to sleep at 10PM and told kevin to wake me up at 11.

i woke up at 9AM this morning to 20 missed calls. my phone was under my pillow. -__-;;

and then in class today, i passed out.

can anyone explain to me why in the world i am so tired???

last night we were talking and my brother in law was telling me about a pastor that he thought was weird b/c the pastor said that he talks to demons.
i told my mom that i used to have lots of scissors and that once i dreamt that i talked to something with horns.
she told me that in the old days, you were supposed to kill ppl who had such dreams/talked to demons.

i'm so glad that i stopped having scissors..it was really bad. at one point i was getting them nightly, and sometimes even more than once a night. once i think i had it 6 times in one night. it was frustrating....

i still get scared sometimes when i sleep. i'm afraid that i might get it again. but.. the thing is, nothing ever bad happened to me. i wonder why i'm still scared....

Lord, help me to trust You.

so me and kevin had an interesting adventure..

sunday, after church, we came to my school to study. i had misplaced my id (which is sorta like a key) so we had to walk around to the parking garage. anyway, on the way out, i pointed to the gate nearest to the car and we exited. lo and behold they had gated up that exit. and before i could tell kevin, the door slammed shut behind us....
soooooo.. here we are.. trapped in between two gates. i didn't have my id, so we couldn't even go back inside to go around.. we were just stuck.
the only way out was to jump the wall.
unfortunately, i was wearing my platforms (for church) and jumping off the wall didn't seem too smart.
so instead, kevin caught me.
haha~ poor thing. i think i broke his arm.

so i learned my lesson: don't go out that gate after 5PM.

some ppl have twisted sense of humor....

NotYetSeven: Haejin!
X bYuLgZr X: hey hong!
NotYetSeven: just the girl i wanted to talk to
NotYetSeven: got a question
X bYuLgZr X: hahaha
X bYuLgZr X: great,
NotYetSeven: i'm running into some legal issues
X bYuLgZr X: haha
NotYetSeven: :-(
X bYuLgZr X: u know what, i'm not allowed to give legal advice
NotYetSeven: what do you know about Hamilton v. Mississippi?
X bYuLgZr X: it's practicing law w/o a license
X bYuLgZr X: no..
NotYetSeven: damn
X bYuLgZr X: i can find out what it's about.
NotYetSeven: :-(
X bYuLgZr X: if that's all u want to know
NotYetSeven: i'm gonna go to jail
X bYuLgZr X: WHAT??
X bYuLgZr X: why?!?!?!
X bYuLgZr X: are you kidding??
NotYetSeven: i can't go into details
NotYetSeven: i was advised to research that case
NotYetSeven: someone told me it might help my case
X bYuLgZr X: ok
X bYuLgZr X: lemme look it up
X bYuLgZr X: i'll give u the link
X bYuLgZr X: so u can read it too
NotYetSeven: something about this schizophrenic getting away with something stupid
X bYuLgZr X: omy
X bYuLgZr X: what did u DO?
NotYetSeven: he was paranoid that the state of mississippi was trying to kill him
NotYetSeven: so he went out and blew up the state building
X bYuLgZr X: uhh...
X bYuLgZr X: that's kind of extreme, no?
NotYetSeven: the guy had schizophrenia
NotYetSeven: so the person i talked to said that i might have schizophrenia
NotYetSeven: and that i should look up that case
NotYetSeven: I don't know why...it's not like I blew up the state building
X bYuLgZr X: .....
X bYuLgZr X: ur worrying me hong
NotYetSeven: why?
NotYetSeven: is my imagination beyond your comprehension?
X bYuLgZr X: so ur just joking right??
X bYuLgZr X: cuz there is no such case
NotYetSeven: anyways, i was working on a design that the fbi caught on to
X bYuLgZr X: u jerk
X bYuLgZr X: design?
NotYetSeven: yea it's cool
X bYuLgZr X: don't be a jerk!!
NotYetSeven: it's a kinetic photon incinerator
NotYetSeven: it's a device that can stop electricity
NotYetSeven: causing a power outage
NotYetSeven: but my range is only 100 meters
X bYuLgZr X: did u test it???
NotYetSeven: fcc regulations prohibit me from testing anything further
NotYetSeven: but out of curiosity i did
NotYetSeven: and i took out some gridline
X bYuLgZr X: OMG
NotYetSeven: it only affect one block
NotYetSeven: but damn fbi's are on my case now
X bYuLgZr X: HONG!
NotYetSeven: hahahhaha
X bYuLgZr X: please say ur kidding!
X bYuLgZr X: i have to study~~~~~
NotYetSeven: oh ok
X bYuLgZr X: why are u torturing me!!!
NotYetSeven: yea i was
NotYetSeven: hahahah
X bYuLgZr X: u are such a jerk!!!
NotYetSeven: i was trying to give you some entertainment
NotYetSeven: cus law school can be such a drag

thanks for freakin me out u jerk.
you owe me dinner for that. xD

"i've tasted chocolate and i'm not going back~~"

my favorite line from Hairspray

hehehehe~

a little present from jae to haejin: (tee hee~)

click on image for larger pic.
can u see the differences?

i don't like the phone, and so i don't call unless it's necessary or unless you're haejin.

aww~ jae can be so sweet sometimes! hehehe~

it's 12:30.
i'm at work.
it is so boring.
i hate posting jobs
i have so much to study.
i was supposed to study w/ jae last night and instead i went on a date w/ girsty. we watched forgotten WOW! it was a good movie. sorta cheesy plot, but i liked it. thank goodness i missed the part that jae was talking about.. i screamed like.. 4 times. haha~ i was proud of myself and of girsty~ she only hit me once for screaming. x) hehe~
tonight, i should study.
but no.
i'm going to knott's scary farm instead.
last night, after watching forgotten i had to sleep with my light on.
maybe tonight i will be so scared i won't be able to sleep and i'll be forced to study.

...yea, that's why i'm goin~ hahaha

i shall be posting often today. x) look foward to exciting glimpses into my life~

i hate wednesdays..

i'm here from 7:30AM - 8PM. -__-;; please drown me in this rain!

i have so much reading to do today...

my gosh, that was the hardest interview EVER!

he gave me an interview.. then he gave me a hypothetical! i was supposed to "think on my feet." needless to say, i freakin BOMBED it.. in the bad way. x( geez~ it had to do w/ ethics and if i were willing to bend it. i'm sorry.. i just couldn't and by the end of the hypo, i was fired. -__-;; i'm guessing that didn't go too well.

it's strange. we learn all this legal theory about how to handle such and such situation, but when it comes to real life.. it doesn't work that way~ so how do we deal w/ it? in those kinds of situations, where rules can be bent w/o being broken and where the lines start to get fuzzy, is where i'm supposed to be an example as a Christian, right? but when that gets me into trouble with the disciple board b/c it was "unethical" b/c i have a duty as an atty, where will my loyalty lie?

i'm praying that such a situation does not occur.. but i'm sure that it will. so my next prayer is that i will choose the One and only that has gotten me through it all. the One who chose to die for me rather than forsake me. i pray that i will not forsake Him for a measly job.

Lord thank you for reminding me of You everyday.

i got the externship! x)

but, i think i lost my license there... x(

stinky...

i'm missing class...b/c i have an interview w/ the LA public defender's office and i'm not prepared for it.. i'm actually sad b/c i don't like missing classes.. (weird, huh?? i woulda used any excuse before to miss undergrad classes, but these days...)

it was SO hard for me to wake up this morning.. i'm going to have to give something up... play time or work.. haha, we know what the "right" answer is.. but will i choose it?

thanks for studying w/ me yesterday yong-jin. surprisingly, you're a real good study partner.

speaking of yong-jin. i had a dream about him last night and ____ but i won't post the girl's name b/c.. i'm so nice~ (and everyone, but yong-jin, knows who i'm talking about..) hahaha~ i also dreamt of a whole bunch of other ppl... it was a weird dream..

oh, and btw, who said technology was bad for your brain? (actually, i did, but this is an aberration from my theory that we get dumber as computers get smarter) i finally learned how to spell wierd yesterday. i tried to use my t9 predictive text and typed "weird" and it said that it wasn't in their dictionary. after spelling wierd "weird" all my life, the correct spelling just looks wierd.. it looks like "wired" to me. oh well..

WAIT A MINUTE! i just checked my spelling on spell check on Word, and it's NOT "wierd"!!!! it's WEIRD! what a stupid phone... ok, now i have to check online dictionary...and it's WEIRD! stupid t9~ doesn't even know how to spell weird! i thought wierd looked weird~~

now, who's stupider? the phone who was programmed retardedly or me.. who believed that retarded program?

see? technology does make us stupider!

it is too early in the morning......

wish me luck everyone. i have another interview. just pray i don't act like a babbling idiot....

have a great day!

i came to school at 7:30 this morning.. and slept til 10:10. haha~ i'm so bad.. i was supposed to read/OL, but i was just SO tired.. xP i'm so bad..

well, i did my mock interview. surprise, surprise, her first comment was that i talked too fast. haha~ i donno why i talk so fast...

last night, i was sifting through my old stuff, and i found this biography i was going to write about my life. when most ppl think back to 8th grade, i'm sure they were pretty happy and didn't have much to worry about.. 8th grade was my darkest year. haha, reading over that now makes me laugh but i remember back to how it was back then.. and i wonder how i made it at all. let me give you some snippits:

i want to take a knife and kill myself. no one would notice.
why do we have to live this way? i'd rather just die.
everywhere i go there's hurt and bitterness, it's just so depressing.

yep.. i was 13 yrs. old. i was going thru a horrible time.. i remember having no guidance. i was so bitter at God. i said something to the effect of "i gave up on religion."

but now that i think about it, the only way that i made it was that i was still clinging dearly to the promises that God made. even tho i was bitter and angry and so depressed, even tho i claimed that God didn't exist, in my 'story' i call out to him countlessly. and when i was bitter or angry, i was bitter and angry with God. even in the greatest depths of dispair, i realized that He controls everything.

that gives me hope..

thank you Lord, for the small ways You remind me of You.

oh yea...

happy 18th birthday mierie!

gawd, i feel old.. my baby sister is now legal and can vote for our next president.. i'm very proud of you mierie~ i hope you know that..

have a good day in school today~!

i'm a murderer..

last night, i was accosted by a bug the size of my thumb. i caught it in a jar.. i was grossed out and fascinated at the same time. i wanted to take pictures, but it wouldn't stay still~ so i shook it. it was going crazy, trying to dig it's way out of the jar... so i couldn't get a good picture. so i kept shaking it and shaking it, and finally it stopped moving. i thought it was just scared stiff, but alas... i had killed it. i felt this wave of guilt rush over me. seriously~ i felt so evil. i didn't mean to!

i have pictures of it, but after realizing that i killed it just to take pictures, i felt it would be wrong to post them. sorry bug. didn't mean to kill you.. x(

i was up til 3:30 working on my outline (that i didn't finish, of course). i had to wake up at 6:30 to get a ride from my brother in law b/c i don't have a car. (it broke down). i will be here, hopefully til about 7PM working on school stuff.

it's been a long week..

wait a minute, is it only monday????

i will never be caught up. x(

Scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
seems I don't know where to start
but it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain
from every fingertip, washing away my pain

Chorus:
I still believe in Your faithfulness
I still believe in Your truth
I still believe in Your holy word
even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind
with promises I still seem to bear
even when answers slowly unwind
it's my heart I see You prepare
but its now that I feel Your grace fall like rain
from every finger tip, washing away my pain

Chorus

The only place I can go is into your arms
where I throw to you my feeble prayers
in brokeness I can see that this was your will for me
Help me to know Your near

~ I Still Believe, Jeremy Camp

i need to find a job!

*sigh*

it has been a long week.. and it's only wednesday! last night, i just passed out completely. 10:30 pm! didn't wake up til 6:50 when my brother in law came to pick me up for school. needless to say, i did NOT go to school with him. -__-;;

tired...