i've decided that i need to be a little nicer. i was talking to kevin the other night and i realized how selfish i have been these days. i used to take joy in reaching out to others, but now, i've become a taker.

so here are some of my apologies:
- i'm sorry that i feel like you treated me badly. maybe if i stopped focusing on how you make me feel and start thinking about how i make you feel, it wouldn't be as big of an issue.

- i'm sorry that, even tho i think i've forgiven you, i really haven't because i still feel entitled to an apology. if i were ever to confront you and apologize, i still can't bring myself to just say sorry - i would probably say, "i'm sorry but you understand that i couldn't help it cuz you started it."

- i'm sorry that i expect so much from you. once again, i need to take the focus away from myself.

- i'm sorry that i can't talk to you without that edge in my voice. i'll try to speak more softly.

- i'm sorry that my first reaction is: "what do you want?" maybe all you want is to talk to your sister.

- i'm sorry that i can't be more helpful around the house. you've really spoiled me.

- i'm sorry that i take advantage of our friendship. i hope you realize that you mean so much to me.

- i'm sorry Lord for failing time and time again. Thank you for loving me still. you don't love me for who i am, but you love me because of who you are..

a lot of my relationships have issues because of pride. sometimes it's me, sometimes the other, and sometimes it's both (most of the time). Lord break me. it's kind of scary to think what's on the other side, but it's gotta be better than this. i used be tired because i tried so hard, but now, i'm just tired of my own bitching (excuse the language).

in the words of my dear friend luptuous: suck it up princess!

i want these:



or all in one (prefer this because it's all of them! @ once!...):


prices vary.. i think the cheapest i found was around $40 for each. for the 1-3 (not yet released) you can preorder for around $100 @ amazon.

somebody? anybody? i reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy want.

remember goofy? i got a postcard from them today:



Don is so cool! (he's the guy who made the goofy)

OOH!

i forgot to tell you about my WONDERFUL day yesterday! i finally got to watch LION KING, the broadway show. WOW, let me just tell you, WOW!!!

it was freaking AMAZING! the set was all complicated and GORGEOUS, and the costumes were GORGEOUS and the singing.. WOW, rafiki and scar were AMAZING! i wanna watch it AGAIN!

THANK YOU KANGSSI!! x) you da best...

did you know that sandra bullock is 41? even tho miss congeniality 2 really bit, she was still gorgeous in it. wow.

but seriously, that was a really really really bad movie. don't watch it ppls.

i'm obviously at work.

kitties for sale! (soon) this is one of them.

last night i argued with yong-jin for almost 3 hours.

it was a fresh reminder of our highschool days..just without the pinching and hitting.

haha~ thanks for picking me up last night yong-jin. and don't worry. it will always be this way - you bug me just as much as i bug you. what can we do?

on a side note.. i need to find a job! x(

jaekyung ah, i really want to learn to knit those things~ you have to teach me...

blah blah blah.. blah blayh blah albhalba;l blahblabs.

i'm bored and i'm tired of being at work.

complain complain. sheesh.. i need to stop.... x(

you know what i realized? it's passion week and i didn't read the Bible this week. -__-

Lord thank you for this yearly reminder of Your amazing love. Lord, help me to remember it all the time.

i have slept a total of 2 hours (on accident too) because i've been up all night writing a ppr that is due in 1 hr and 20 minutes.

what a crappy beginning to my spring break.

kwanshu: pinky

who knows what that means? 10 points! (jae you don't count cuz you already know)

wow, 3rd update of the day. must mean i don't want to study..

here are some pics of me trying very hard to be a photographer.. x)


this is a picture of a mother fossa and her baby. (gotta look carefully b/c of the glass reflections)


this is an evening at coronado beach. beautiful, ain't it?


this is a lion at sd wild animal park. i thought he was cute.


this is heaven looking at the lion.

i should study, huh? xP

hey! let's have a sleepover at my house! who's in?

i'm having major light sensitivity issues these days.. really, it hurts to open my eyes in the sunlight. i've never had this problem before...

hmm.. maybe that's why i slept from 2AM to 5PM yesterday......

*sigh* i really have major issues w/ waking up...

on the other hand, it was good rest that i needed. (right?)

gosh, i wasn't this forgetful before. especially when it came to school, i was always pretty good about turning things in on time and whatnot. i am losing that ability very very quickly.

yesterday i thought kevin was lying in a ditch, face down. maybe he was mugged. maybe he was hurt. i didn't know. i was worried sick because he told me to call him after i tutored and i called him for 7 hours and he wouldn't pick up.

imagine my ... (you fill it in) when he calls me at 1 AM..because he just woke up. -__-;; yes, i was a little upset.

TAKE YOUR PHONE OFF SILENT!

weekend recap:

on thursday, i went out to eat with alex. it's always refreshing to meet up with him after a long while. he bought me altoids gum and wrote me a christmas card for my birthday. haha~ then we went to jae's and watched this weird anime with ugly people.

friday, i went to work. xP then kevin decides to stay in sd for overtime so i had to drive all the way down to spectrum to see him. but it was fun and nice to go out. unfortunately, my car pretty much broke down again. i kept hearing these weird clicking noises from the front of my car. but the noises weren't very loud, so i didn't worry myself about it too much. then all of a sudden my "gas is low" and "battery is low" lights both came on. i was like ?? b/c i had gas.. that kinda freaked me out, but i got home w/ no problems.

saturday, i had to wake up early to tutor. i drove to tutor with no problems. after that i was going to be all productive and go to the gym. i got 2 blocks from my house before my car started to sound like a clicking time bomb -- you know in the cartoons when cars make all those bubbly/ticking/farting noises? that was the sound my car was making. i started freaking out. i pulled over and stopped the car, but it was still making the noises. it literally sounded like the car was falling apart. i turned off the car, and it stopped making the sounds. i tried to see if there was something caught in the tires, but i didn't see anything. so i turned my car back on, drove like 10 mph and got home safely. freakin.. ruined my plans. so i lay around until i had to get ready for the wedding. went to the wedding w/ eugene and her bf (thanks for ditching me jae). eugene and her bf are so cute, it was so gross. haha~ seriously tho, i felt so lonely b/c everyone was paired up. x( *sigh* so after the wedding, we went on a double date. we watched be cool. it was my first double date ever and i had a lot of fun. we were competing to see which couple was grosser..eugene won by a lot. ehehe~

sunday, my parents left for korea. i was so tired, i donno why, but i couldn't do anything. i slept. xP

yes, what an exciting life i lead.

ew, lila, can you be any grosser?

haha~ thank you tho.. you're the girliest girl i know. x) and even though you think that it's an insult (and it would be normally), it's a compliment in your case. ^^;; i don't know what i would have done with out you~

love you and miss you! take lots of pics!

i love waking up to her. x)

last saturday, i met up with kristy, eugene, jae eun and jae kyung for dinner. we went to cafe tu tu tango (a great place, btw) for dinner. there was this CRAZY balloon man and our table was mesmerized by his skills. jae and eugene snuck off and told them it was my bday (which it wasn't..but whatevers) so they came and gave us this freaking good flan (i don't even like flan), and the balloon man made me this:


crazy, huh?

i also have pictures of it hugging me, but.. i decided not to post those. x)

haejin chung, Your ideal job is a Cowboy.

haha, this site is pretty funny: http://www.jobpredictor.com/index.asp

what's your ideal job? (jae, your's can be one of many, but one is a housewife. HAHA)

yesterday i determined that i have reached the point of disgusting. i need to stop eating and start exercising. -__-;;

it's kinda strange how people generally feel the same about certain types of people.

things i'd like to say to random people:
- it's ok to let your good deeds pass unnoticed sometimes.
- you need to stop thinking about yourself and notice how you're hurting the people around you.
- if you have something to say, say it.
- sometimes it's better not to be so honest.
- grow up.
- maybe if you took care of your responsibilities more you wouldn't be so unhappy.
- don't try so hard. just accept who we are. it's ok.
- money isn't the answer to everything.
- you make my day brighter.
- pay attention.
- is this really how you want to live?
- i'm sorry.
- i wish you could see how much you mean to me.
- do you think you could just love me for who i am?
- i love you.
- i wish i could give you something to live for.

and so many more things to say.. hmm.. i guess the third bullet applies to me too.

gah, i'm so tired.

I'm so very ordinary; Nothing special on my own...Sometimes I'm hiding away from the madness around me, like a child who's afraid of the dark...Broken daughter...You're not alone. If you're tired and scared of the madness around you, If you can't find the strength to carry on...When your heart is broken and you feel discouraged, you can just remember that He said, "He'll be there" [cuz] when I call on Jesus...He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call...

- Nicole Mullen (When I Call on Jesus)

hehehehehehe~

why am i such a mess these days?

i lied, so sue me.

my parents use the lunar calendar so their birthdays change every year. this year, my dad's landed on the same day as my birthday: today. so i gave him a birthday present this morning. but he didn't say happy birthday to me! xP when he finally realized it was my birthday too, he was like, "i remembered all morning that it was your birthday, but then you said happy birthday to me and i forgot it was your birthday too!" haha~

then he wrote me a birthday check and put it into an envelope. i was in a rush this morning so i didn't get to read it until i got into the car, but this is what it said:
Happy BirTh-Day!
To HaeJin Chung
Mon & DAd

haha~ happy birthday daddy!

and law school has take over my life. the other day, me and kevin were passing by "downey studios." it was pretty dark, but there were a lot of cars on the lot, so kevin thought they might be shooting a movie. while kevin, being normal, was curious as to what was going on and trying to see if we could get onto the lot, i was thinking, "hmm, i wonder how they set up the corporation - a partnership might be too risky. maybe an LLC b/c that seems to be the trend these days.. hmm.. i wonder how many stockholders they have.."