i'm a mom!

i have 2 precious kitties that can't do anything on their own. they can't eat, poo, or pee without me. i love them to death. i got a total of 4 hours of sleep last night, but i forgive them. girsty has one too.. omg, it's a freakin howler! mine are really well-behaved... keke~~ they're SO cute!!

yay~ time to go home to my babies!

the sunrise was very beautiful this morning...then i fell asleep. haha~

i stayed up all night.. ALL night watching Escaflowne. twenty episodes that are about 20 min's each.. my eyes are soo puffy right now. i want a bf that has beautiful angel wings and is all magical and is cool like that.

dang, i have so much to do, i don't even know where to begin. first i have to pack and move all my junk out of the apt. then me and hyewon have to do some MAD cleaning to do. icky icky icky~ not only that i have to deal with the stinky law school stuff..

it came to me last night as me and girsty were coming back from costco and berkeley bowl. i think that God is telling me to let go. to just let go... my time here has really ended, and i felt it in the car. but instead of being sad, i felt peaceful. i finally felt like i know where i'm going, and i know that God is leading me there. i know that i was so confused when i got my waitlisted letter from hastings, but i think that God was telling me to just let go. i need to learn to let people and places and times go. i have a tendency to hold on to the past. to always make the past so much more than it was. and to feel like i can't leave it. how strange, but i'm ready to go now. i know that the road ahead of me is going to be very long and hard.. especially this summer..i have a feeling it's going to be one of my toughest summers. but at the same time, there's the comfort in knowing that this is what God ordained from the beginning of time... and i'm ready to finally listen.

Lord, please help me. This summer is going to be really tough. I know that I need to listen. I'm going to have to start all over again. I'm going to have to find a church again, find a body of believers again.. but Lord, I trust in You. Thank You for everything...in Your precious Son's name, Amen.

wow.. talk about a whirlwind.. this week went by so fast. i have so much to say, but at the same time i guess it's not really that important either. x) when i first started blogging it was more for myself... i think i will revert back to that. it makes it less stressful. haha~

thank you to everyone who came out to my graduation. i felt very loved.

thank you to everyone who has been a part of my berkeley experience, both good and bad. it wouldn't have been the same without you.

thank you jae for always being there for me. for putting up with all of my bad traits and for keeping me on my toes. you're coming to sd with me, right???

thank you eugene for being the sweet girl that you are. x) and for the kitty! yay!!

thank you hyewon for dealing with all my negativity at the apt. xP cuz you know that's where it all comes out, right? good luck with everything. x) you can do it! don't steal alex, k? haha~ you can have anyone else~ *wink*

thank you alex for.. yea.. thanks...

thank you girsty for understanding me at a level most people don't even think about. haha~ doode.. it's scary sometimes.

thank you luptuous for letting me be me. for always accepting me as i am. x) thanks..

thank you to my awana family.. YAYEE YAYEE~~ WHAT TIME IS IT??? AWANA TIME HOOAH!!

thank you to my CM family too~~ x) it was a wonderful time.. a precious and wonderful time~!!!

thank you gc for driving all the way up here for my graduation and then driving my sisters back home too. x) sorry...

thank you chris son for being a wonderful small group leader and an even better friend. i'm sorry that i wasn't much of a member this year.. i will see you again! x) come visit me in beautiful sd!!

too many thank you's.. but i have to work. hahaha~ so

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! you have made my life that much more rich and that much more beautiful... i'm going to miss all of you!! T-T

thank you Lord for being so faithful to me....

the night before last i had a dream that i had a wedding planned. all the invitations were sent and everything was prepared. but i was talking to my sister and i told her, "i don't think i'm going to get married." and my sister asked me, "why not??" and i answered, "because, i don't even have a husband!" -__-;; how sad....

today was jae eun's graduation. it was strange.. sitting there.. wow.. mine's tomorrow. wow...

last night was...crazy. wow. let me tell you.. i had like 20 different freshmen come over at my apt throughout the duration of the night. it was crazy.. crazy crazy! but i hope everyone had fun. i sure did~ xD

sarah's cousin, chris, is a very cool guy~ he was making me swoon all night long.. keke~

thanks girsty for coming over with the bread knife.. i donno what i woulda done without it.. -__-;; let's not imagine that anymore, ok? haha~

alex, i was so touched that you wanted me to bring by food. x) you made me so happy. ask me again, k?

i only have like 2 more weeks left here at berkeley.. it's so sad!!

har har~ so funny!

so me and girsty FINALLY watched Hot Chick. ok, so it was a lot cornier than i thought it would be, but it had its moments. i think the funnier thing last night, though, would be watching (or more listening) to kwansoo play counterstrike. ahaha~ he squeals and screams like a girl when he dies! so funny~

then i found out today that girsty can't write in cursive. hahahah~ i don't know what she's going to do when i'm not here anymore and she has to write out the vice-chancellor cards. she tried for about 10 mins to write out one card. haha~ there's more, but she won't let me blog it. i'm so nice.

dang.. i'm so screwed. tomorrow's going to be a craaaaazy day. haha~ we'll see if i pull it off....

hey~ i'm done with finals~ woooooooooO!! speakin of finals.. wow, i've never turned in a final LATE before. EVER! even though i always waited til last minute, i made sure that, even if it was crappy, i at least turned it in on time. after my polisci final on friday, i pretended like i was done, even though i had a take home due 12 pm monday. it was 3 essay questions and on sunday night i finished 2/3. the third one was going to be a doozy because i had no clue what a CDC was and here i was supposed to model my own CDC. so i took a break and slept from 4am-6am. then jae woke me up and i went home. i was so tired, i rationalized that i could sleep til 8am and still have 4 hours to write the essay. it was only 3 pages after all. i ended up wakin up at 9am. no biggie, still 3 hours.. i closed my eyes for a second.. a second! and when i opened them again, it was 11am!!!! omg.. i've never written a more crappier 3 page response in my life! (it wasn't even 3 pages.. only 2) and i turned it in 1/2 hr late. thankfully, the prof hadn't picked up the finals yet..

and that, my friends, was my exciting monday.

haha!

it's almost time...

so many questions...

will they remember me when i'm gone? have i left anything good? does it matter? why is everything competition with me? will i remember them? will i remember to pray for my kids? will they remember me? why do i want to be remembered? will i really miss this, or is it just in the moment? what comes next? what does God have planned for me?

and that's just the very thin top layer of a small portion of my brain.. the rest is filled with doubts and fears. yet i should hold onto the grace that got me here, allowed me to be a part of three wonderful ministries, allowed me to serve and learn in two ministries, and got me through it all.

it's almost over...

it's almost beginning...

i'm at the lib again.. yee hee~ xP i'm actually being a little productive tho because i'm all in an obscure corner of the lib that not many people know about. x) but then.. i keep takin breaks. haha~ xP so i'm having spurts of productivity then...kaput. *sigh* i just don't want to study...

it was really sad today. i got ditched twice. x( first time, i was coming into the lib and i ran into tall albert and he was going to lunch, so i told him to wait for me and carroll cuz we were going to lunch too. i came out and he wasn't there anymore. i was sad. then, janice was going to swipe in a bunch of us at the super dc at 8, and i was all excited and i told carolina to come get me when they left. so at 8, i went down and they were gone. i was sad again.

but through all of that (and more) carroll stayed with me all day. x) thanks carroll~ he had lunch and dinner with me. so i didn't have to feel like a lonely loser. and he studied by me all day. even when i kept stealing his laptop to put songs in my mp3 player. hehe~ thank you carroll~ ^^

i'm starting to get tired... but it doesn't feel bad. it feels good to be studying. i'm going to really miss this library. i'm going to miss this campus too. i was walking around today.. *sigh* it really is a beautiful campus. and today was perfect weather for just aimless walking. too bad i have a final tm. if i didn't, i would be just walking around and exploring campus, but instead i'm stuck in here.

boo on finals~

oh, and girsty, thank you so much for your wonderful message rubbing it in that you were going home.. -__-;;

i think it was andy that said that when he gets stressed he suhl sah's...

i'm stressed... and let's guess why i thought of what andy said. this has never happened to me before. but.. i can't seem to control my bowel activities right now. xP i'm majorly gas'y and my stomach just plain hurts constantly. even when i relieve myself. it only feels ok for a little bit then the cramping starts again. (this is really attractive, huh? haha~ see albert? i'm never going to get married!) i think it's because i ate an obscene amount of dinner last night. x( i had 2 HUGE bowls of curry (compliments of jaekyung ^^;;) at 8. then i got hungry again at around 1 or 2 am'ish so i made ramen and ate it all by myself. this was after starving myself the entire day. that was not smart.

papers suck... all the time. if only ONCE i could start it early. just ONCE in my life.

this week sucks. sucks sucks sucks!

good luck on finals everyone~~ i should go on a blogging hiatus.. we'll see how long i last. xD

i need to stop playing with kristy and start studying!! i'm grounding myself from her this week and next. y'hear that girl?? no more play~~~~ studeeeeee~~~


hahaha, yea.. that won't last for very long.. kristy can't stand to be away from me. xD hahaha~

so the saddest thing happened yesterday. i was walkin home because i had forgotten my lunch. on my way, I ran into tall albert. he hurt his leg on sunday while playing basketball, so i asked him, "so how's your leg?" he looked over at me and looked completely confused. so i smiled and asked him again.. maybe he didn't hear me. it was still not registering to him, i guess. finally he took out his hand and said, "i don't think we've ever met. hi, my name is albert." i was soooo flabbergasted. i took it, but i was kinda sad cuz i did meet him before. so i tried to play it off and i said, "how sad! we have met before! remember at the softball game? i thought you were abe." and he said, "OH~~ you're the weird girl!" -___-;;;

it's ok. i forgive. i felt really dumb though, haha~ i mean.. most people would just play it off, you know? even if they didn't know them. but at least i know that he's not being fake. ^^

i slept for 11 hours last night. i was going to sleep from 11-12, but when hyewon came in to wake me.. i just went back to sleep. then she woke me up again at 3 (what were you doing up!?!??!?), but then i went back to sleep. then i was supposed to wake up at 5 (cuz i have this korean project), but i didn't. i woke up at 7, then 8:30, then 9, then 9:30, then 10. hahah~ i finally got my lazy butt out of bed and came to work. blah~

i'm still tired. haha~

This weekend was crazy crazy crazy!!! x)

Really quick recap:
- Friday night me, hyewon, jae, sam, and hong went danshing. It was pretty fun. x) it was definitely funny. Haha~ these guys kept trying to dance with hyewon.. so hilarious~ one guy even attempted to join our little circle and danced "with us" for like 5 minutes.. all the while he was inching closer and closer to hyewon.. ahah! So funnY! she ended up getting hit on by 10 guys.
- senior banquet!!! seriously.. I don't even know what to say. It was so.. amazing. Thank you all so much. we were so spoiled! x) thank you! it was truly a night that I will NEVER forget... words can not put into expression..
- Sunday was very very tiring.. I was at church all day, which is not unusual. But the night before, I stayed up all night. x( after senior banquet, the senior class went danshing @ jillians.. hehe~ it was fun. then we went to denny's and i gorged myself because senior banquet was over and i can be a fat cat again. then, I bet eddie that he couldn't stay up til the crack of dawn with me.. and he did. So now I owe him dinner. Blah! But it was pretty funny. the korean ahjoomahs are soooooo funny! hahahah~ I was freakin tired though. Me and girsty came home and she didn't even make it to her own apt. she just came to mine, and we slept in my bed together. It was heavenly. I woke up at around 7:30 to help a friend with something.. girsty slept on til 11PM. Haha~ then we ate. xD senior banquet is over, I don't have to diet anymore. Haha~

I hope fred feels better...

Albert was a very good escort.. hehehe~

Billy ku was a great elvis... ahahaha~ but I didn't know whether to be disturbed or impressed.

I don't want to leave.. x(

I have a lot to pray about..

dang~ i've been gone for a while.... that means that i haven't been to work in a few days... haha~

so wednesday, me, jae, eugene, and hyewon hit the city for some more shopping. it was.. TIRING. but fun too. hehe~ doode, it's so sad though b/c no matter what i tried on, it wasn't what i was looking for..maybe i just have too high of expectations... haha~ but whatevers.. i found my outfit for senior banquet.. *yay* it was kinda disturbing, though, cuz on the way there, this guy totally pulled his pants and his underwear down. -___-;;; it was.. disgusting... poor jae. but it was ok, b/c as we were walkin to macy's they were passing out free starbucks expresso double shots... yay~ xD that made my morning much brighter.

i also went to men's shelter for small group on wednesday and i was very disappointed with myself... x(

thursday....i had a very uneventful day. the shopping totally wiped me out, so i ended up not going to work again...(hence my absence from blogging)...went to section, skipped a class, then went to my last class of the day because i had to do a presentation.. xP it went ok, i think...

then freshman mike came over and we had dinner together.. x) thanks for coming by~ we watched movies again.. haha~ dang.. i just realized that i watched 2.5 movies last night! mike wanted to watch back to the future 3, so i saw it for the umpteenth time. joseph, come and take that back!! then i saw chingoo with kristy.. i'd seen it before, but jang dong gun is so hot. then i saw miss congeniality. it was fun watching that movie again. i haven't seen it in a long time. hehe~

do you want to know how much sleep i got last night?
zero.
have i gone delirious yet? surprisingly i'm holding up pretty well...

you think i'm gor~geous. you want to kiss me~ you want to hug me~ you want to smooch me~