last night i had a 20-oz porterhouse steak at outback. omg, it was soooooooo good. THANK YOU HONG! xD we had interesting conversation, i suppose.. but i ended up making hong sad... xP sorry~ i didn't mean to~~

i came home... did nothing... it's very bad.. haha~ i guess i'm still on hiatus from that stupid 15 page ppr... xP

does anyone else dunk their carrots in water before eating them? cuz my roomie does... hahahaha~

i don't want to go to class today......

i guess this weekend was pretty crazy for everyone with small group night and all. on friday night, our small group just chilled. x) i missed dinner but i went over to chris' later and we were playing a game called true colors. and the two categories i "won" for was: if you had to do a shady job, what would be the one that you would most likely call? and if you were ready for a wild night out, who would you call? what does my small group think of me? xP i also found out that i have a horrible sense of other people's perceptions of me... oh well. it was ok because we went to norebang after the game. teehee~ xD

on saturday, me, jaeeun, jaekyung, and kay went all the way to san jose to go shopping... it was soooo tiring! we walked around for 7 hours! we didn't even buy anything until the last 5 minutes, literally... but i guess it was worth it cuz i bought 3 new dresses and a pair of shoes. *yummm* xD

sunday, was church.. then church, then more church. hehe~ but it was kinda funny. during awana, billy ku's keys were hanging out of his pocket so i pulled them out and put it in my awana uniform pocket, but i totally thought that billy felt me taking them because it wasn't like i was being all careful about it. i just pulled it out.. i told john song that i took them, and i was going to see how long it took billy to realize that he didn't have his keys anymore. anyway.. during handbook time, john asked me if i still had billy's keys, and i said yes. he said that billy was looking for them, so i felt bad and i was going to give them back, but john told me to just keep them and hide them. and he was so convincing! so i did.. x( anywho.. it turns out that billy called triple a. x( i felt really bad after that.. *sigh* john song is a bad influence!

haha~ kwansoo, kristy, and jane moon were amazed at my ability to blame other people for my mistakes on the way to church... now you can be amazed too. xD

why are they taking so long???

it's starting to stress me now....

but i want to remember that God is good.. ALL the time!

am i really that scary?

Haejin knows im scared of her. Im pretty sure it's the way she talks. ppl who talk really fast scare me.
(excerpt from daniel hahn's xanga)

it's ok though. i like the power~ muahahhahah~

i'm really not that scary once you get to know me though. x) my bark is really loud, but i don't bite.... (oh wait a minute.. yes i do bite..) but not often. xD

(EDIT)
i wanted to write about my very random day yesterday...
first, i finished my paper and alex was mean and got me all excited about this ice cream that i am never going to get. -__-;; but it was ok b/c girsty calls me out of the blue and asked me to go to koko's to eat tong dak with her. YUM! if anyone saw us eat, they'd have thought that we had been starving for years because we DEVOURED an ENTIRE tong dak by ourselves. then we went to mcdonald's to get ice cream and fries. ahaha~ it was soo funny though cuz girsty was workin it with the cashier guy. she said, "can you make my cone big?" (batting eyelashes). he smiled and turned around and told his co-worker to make her a BIG cone. the guy comes back and girsty's eyes got really big b/c the cone was HUGE! so we sat down to eat our ice cream and i had my sundae and fries.. and i was so full i thought was going to burst open at the seams... i guess that's what we get for being such fat cats. ^^ but it was a really nice date~ xD *thanks girsty*

after that we went to pusan to buy some stuffs... i went home and me, kwan, and girsty started Sweet Home Alabama. then we went to girsty's vball game, where they kicked butt! then came back and hyewon had come back from her date with daniel hahn. (heehee) and they were chillin at our place, so we all finished the movie. then girsty wanted to watch Amelie so we watched that too. x) it was fun. daniel hahn left early tho, because of the reason stated above.

all in all, it was a really random, chill, but good day. x)

thank you God. ^^

i didn't really enjoy As Good As It Gets (prolly cuz i watched it with a whole buncha immature guys and there were a lot of sexist remarks made... i don't think my friends got the point) but i remember this was the best line:

Carol Connelly: Why can't I have a normal boyfriend? Just a regular boyfriend, one that doesn't go nuts on me!
Beverly Connelly: Everybody wants that, dear. It doesn't exist.
(from jae's blog)

soooooo true!

*sigh*

i fell asleep last night...

my paper is due at 2:10 PM, and i am now just finishing up page 11.

why do i always do this?

alex has major communication problems...

so i was supposed to go down this weekend for a job interview, but thanks to alex's amazing communication skills, it looks like i couldn't possibly go anyway. -__-;; so i'll be here. and he said he'd buy me ice cream for being such a bad communicator. but he failed to communicate to me that he meant for me to meet him at yogurt park after work because he was going to be at the library until then. so i didn't even get my ice cream~ (well, yogurt park)

but it's ok. after tonight i will be freakin freeeee!!!

and girsty totally abuses her poor kitty. i went to her place to bum off some food. and she was feeding her kitty first, and as she was pouring the food, she saw an ant crawling up the wall. she gets all grossed out then starts looking for her kitty. the kitty got pretty darned scared because girsty was lunging for it (well, not lunging, but i felt like using that word). she finally grabbed the kitty (who had been hiding under the table) girsty then proceeds to take her kitty to the wall where the little tiny ant is crawling, takes the kitty's paws and stamps out the ant.. and this is all while the kitty is protesting.. how sad~~

this paper isn't as bad as i thought. it's quite interesting. if only it didn't have to be so stinkin LONG!!! x( but yea... haha~ this is bad. carroll has wireless internet and i said that i wouldn't be tempted by it. but here i am. taking advantage of his kindness..

fine, fine.. i'm going back to work.

*sigh*

i slept for 3.5 hours.

i still only have 6/15 pages for my paper that is due tomorrow.

i really feel like crying.

omg.. someone's feet smell nasty raunchy up in here!!! AHHHHH!!! AHHhHHHH~~ it's killin me!

wow~ i came to my blog and found kenshin. xD hehe~ *thanks jae!*

here i am at the library. have i told you how much i hate this paper??? i'm such an idiot too. i left my disk at home meaning i have to start the whole thing all over. i have freakin issues.. and i don't know why but i have the biggest headache. x( i had one yesterday too....

i had a not-so-good day today. *sigh* and it's just getting worse cuz i have to now write this fifteen page paper.

yes.. and i'm blogging....

i'm tired. -__-

I always tend to put so much stock in my friends. Don't get me wrong--I love them to death. But I always find myself in that place where they've disappointed me and I feel so crushed and betrayed. I always wondered why God would allow us to feel this way..

Linda sent this to us in honor of today...

Jesus' agony in the Garden of Gethsemane is seldom given the attention it deserves when we consider the Lord's suffering as the Redeemer of his people. Admittedly it does not stand out as prominently in the gospel record as the agony of the cross. Yet the Gethsemane experience is a crucial part of the passive obedience of our mediator in his redemptive work. Seen in biblical-theological light, it is an event which demonstrates the completeness and perfection of the savior's work. It helps us comprehend the depth of the riches of our standing in Christ and to praise God for the grace revealed in Jesus' perfect obedience to the Father throughout his suffering.

Several circumstantial factors contributed to the intensity of Jesus' agony. One of these factors was the utter loneliness of our Lord. He who bore our sins did so alone. It was a lonely path that the one "despised and rejected of men" had to walk. The "man of sorrows, familiar with suffering like one from whom men hide their faces" knew the loneliness of the abandoned.

Our Lord had left the upper room in Jerusalem where he had instituted the Holy Supper of remembrance. Leading the disciples out of the city, they arrived at the garden on the west side of the Mount of Olives, about a half-mile west of the Temple Square, across the Kidron Valley. Though the garden was not very large (an acre or two at the most) and the disciples could not have been very far away, Jesus still wanted three of them closer. He desired the support, comfort and close presence of Peter, James and John. His sense of loneliness must have been intensified by their apparent indifference to Jesus' suffering. They slept while he prayed. Though he aroused them from sleep after his first session of prayer, it was obviously hopeless to call them back after the second. Then the mob, bent on Jesus' capture, arrived and one of the disciples made a futile effort at resistance with a sword. Jesus' mild reprimand of the aggressive disciple was followed by the desertion of all of them. Jesus was left alone--alone in the clutches of the enemy, abandoned. The song says it well, "He bore it all alone."

It's like Pastor Eugene's sermon about how Jesus was totally alone when it came to the most crucial part of His life. It's the same now.. people can never understand me completely. Even I can never understand my own self. Yet I expect people to feel what I feel, when I know that there's only One that can take the pain away. When I feel that a friend has failed me--that has to rank up there with one of the worst feelings.. but I always set myself up for it. If only I could learn to depend on Him alone for my worth...

After all, He felt that I was worthy of His own blood....

hahahaha~ proof that ads influence you:

and excerpt from girsty's blog:
one of my bosses, diane, has a pet geico!!

honey, geico would be the insurance company. it's gecko as that poor lizard is always telling the people who bother him and get him out of the shower because they're calling him for geico.

hehe~ i thought that was pretty cute... xD

I LOVE YOU GIRSTY!

i have a question for you...

if someone said: "maybe the guys [meaning my past bfs] only asked you because they were mentally imbalanced."

how would you take it?

i saw better luck tomorrow last night. it was ok. it was really funny then it got really weird. i donno. and that guy, ben, looked like an ex from certain angles. it was sooooo weird.

i'm at work. i'm tired. i woke up late again. (haha) but it was because me and hyewon stayed up doing sit-ups last night. wooo~

you know that paper? yea, that one.. i didn't start it yet. =X

someone smack me please...

i've been at the business library for one hour now...

guess what i've been doing this whole time?

reading blogs.

yes, i have no life. x(

i hate this paper already...

people say that i'm motherly, they haven't seen my bosses.

i blew my nose because it was runny and diane came running in asking me if i was getting sick and told me to check my throat glands. haha~ they're such sweeties.

last night i got nothing done. -___-;;

i guess it was kinda expected. i got to welcoming committee fun night and no one was there except me, girsty, alex, and kwansoo. everyone else (minus esther) was an hour late. xP we started to play my very very corny games, but i guess it wasn't so bad. hehe~ bibitybopbop was soooooooooo funny! hahaha~ albert kae was sooo bad at it. heh~ then it was movie time. me and girsty wanted to watch harry potter 2 cuz i just got it in the mail but everyone else wanted to watch spirited away. it was good though. x) i got to watch it with subtitles this time so i understood a lot more of it. everyone was pretty pooped by the time it ended, but fred, kwansoo, and nancy went over to kwan's to watch a scary korean movie. me and girsty decided to watch harry potter haha~ although she ended up watching it by herself. i totally conked out. this was the first time that i ended up sleeping over her place. usually, it's the other way around. anywho, i was awakened by her kitty eating my hand... xP but i decided to sleep for longer. xD so yea.. my paper outline? that didn't happen. my cover letter? that didn't happen... x( bad haejin...

fred has only-child syndrome.

lori's pretty hilarious. x) she was beating up alex for me.

i think i got alex pretty mad yesterday.. or at least annoyed. haha~ he'll never admit it though..

i need to freakin work on my paper! x( going to the business lib today!! but i need a ride. hahaha~~ xD any takers???

school is ruining my senior year.....

We will seek You first Lord.
You will hear our voices
early in the morning and late in the night.

We will sing your praises (?)
giving You the glory
offering to You our lives a holy sacrifice.

what's the beginning to this song?

May our praises be an incense, O Lord, to You.
May our worship be a fragrance, O Lord, to You~

i've been really neglectful of my blog, and the topics have been getting more and more dull as the days go by. and you know what i have to say to that? too bad.

me and a friend had a very very very long overdue talk last night. for anyone who knows me, they know that i'm very non-confrontational. i can't hide my feelings, but i am not the type to blow up at people either. i mean, i do it all the time to my family, but when it comes to "outsiders" i'm very not. it's been one of my struggles with myself. i was brought up to hide my true feelings from other people because you don't want to be a burden, etc etc. (so even when i get annoyed with you alex, that's not all of my anger). i've always been taught to cham-uh, so i do. but i vent to other people about that anger. i can't recall ever blowing up on that person for doing something wrong to me. instead i use other people for outlets (which is also bad and another thing i struggle with). ANYWAY, i finally got the courage to sit down and talk with her. it was really good. can't say that it's perfect now, but it's definitely a step in the right direction...

as for the rest of my life.. i wish those stinky letters would hurry up and come.

tonight is the welcoming committee fun night part II~~! come and be ready to be amazed!!! xD

i overslept today.. *sigh*

i need to go to the business lib today. where exactly is that??

i hate polisci papers!!!

bye bye~~

COFFEE!!!

when: 4/11/03 Friday, 5:30 PM
where: haejin and hyewon's

just let me know if you're coming. xD (jung, kathleen, eileen, esther.. you guys are coming, right?)

boo. i have a blister on my foot

tuesday, i had blue nile (ethiopian food) for the first time. it was good~ x) and what was even better was my company! *thanks eileen* our dinner ended up lasting for 3 hours. hehe~ then afterwards, we went to my place to watch Emperor's New Groove because she's never seen it! *gasp* after that we went to the sr-freshie softball game where i made history: in my 3 years of IM softball, i finally got to run all the way home~~~ thanks dankim!!!! woo~! it was a pretty fun game. x) me and sammy were doing cartwheels in left field.

yesterday was quite interesting. haha~ first, i went to volunteer at berkeley youth alternatives (BYA) with the pre-school. the kids were cute enough but it was soooo tiring too. but it was freakin hilarious. during snack time, there was this one four or five year old and she was all excited about her snack. then all of a sudden she laughed and said, "my mommy says that i eat so much that my boobs are going to be THIS (putting her hands way out in front of her chest) big." (smiling widely) haha~ i was crackin up. kids these days~

i spent the entire evening with alex. x) i know that he had so much fun. he freakin smacked me on the head though!!!! x( i was sad. he kept bothering me too! that jerk. (ahahah~ thanks for keeping me company alex. even though i was a *bit* cranky). after that i went to nrb with john im, carolina, jae eun, hyewon, kevin, and kyu. it was fuN~ x) crazy gasoo's. ALL of them~ heh

i was 20 minutes late to my discussion. i got my midterm back (63/100...-__-), went to my GSI's OH's.... and now i'm at work.
what a freakin crazy life i lead, huh? xD

How evil are you?

well look at that.. i'm angelic!

acceptance one: university of san diego law school. yay~ i got into one. x)

my mom is so weird. last night she calls me and sounded kinda frantic. she asked me where i was, and i was like.. "home. where else would i be?" and she sighed a breath of relief and said, "eung, g'rae stay home because i was watching the news and oakland has gone crazy~ there's this protest and blah blah blah..." (she said all this in korean and didn't say 'blah blah blah,' but you get my drift). i was like.. what the heck??? haha~ i had called my little sister earlier and told her to tell my mom that i got into san diego. but i guess this is proof of how my mom doesn't really listen to us when we talk. all she heard was my name, then the news... so she thought she was putting 2 and 2 together to get 4. haha~ how funny.

rejection one: boalt law school.

oh well. x) i guess my time here at berkeley has come to an end...

i shall miss you guys!!!!

My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Ass Machine Wack.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.

cosmic bowling w/ WC was fuN! yay~ thanks kwansoo for planning the thing. x) don't forget guys! part II of WC fun night is coming up soon~~ i'm going to be planning "games" so come!!

jung is really fobby~ x) i like her~~ and she likes coffee!! i have to get her and kathleen to come over my place to have some COFFEE!!!!!

dankim once gel'ed his eyebrows... haha~

fred's afraid of thunder. xD it was so cute. we were watching Escaflowne (a Japanese anime) and fred was sitting next to me. the thunder roared and all of a sudden fred is grabbing my arm and grabbing the blanket and crawling under. keke~~ so cute~

danny yoon and i have a lot in common. he's pretty crazy too. i like him. xD

when the freshmen sleep, they SLEEP.. hahaha~

eileen fell asleep as soon as the movie started so kwan offered to take her home. i tried to wake her, but she wouldn't budge. this is how it went:
me: eileen?
her:
me: eileen? (touching her hair to try to gently wake her)
her:
me: eileeeeen~~ (touching face.. kinda poking at her)
her:
me: she's out... eiLeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen~~~~
her: what?
me: we can take you home if you want
her: why? was i doing something wrong?
haha~ she was totally out of it. x) but she managed to stay up for some parts of the movie.. although not enough to understand the story.

danny yoon fell asleep like 2 seconds into the movie. and we tried to wake him cuz he was SNORING. xP he kept wakin up in fits (and when i or kwansoo kicked/poked him to keep him from snoring) then fell right back to sleep. (the thunder woke him too.. haha~ he grabbed onto kwansoo then crawled back into the blanket). anywho, the movie ended and we tried to get danny yoon up. we were literally poking, jabbing, pinching, physically trying to lift him... but he lifted his head once and went back to his slumber. they ended up leaving him there. haha~ and he woke up this morning at around 9:00 and went home.

i had a lot of fun last night~ x)

i'm really sad.

i split my pants. T-T i was kimchi squatting to put back a binder at work, and then i heard a rrrip. so i looked down, and there was a rip. T-T it's not fixable.

i need to diet.

*sigh*

went to nrb with jae, jaepil, hyewon, and esther (sophomore) last night. it was fun. hehe~ i over-exerted my voice, just a little bit, but.. whatever.. x) it was worth it.

i don't know. i don't really have anything to blog... so why am i blogging? xP

what a weirdo.