i've decided that i need to be a little nicer. i was talking to kevin the other night and i realized how selfish i have been these days. i used to take joy in reaching out to others, but now, i've become a taker.

so here are some of my apologies:
- i'm sorry that i feel like you treated me badly. maybe if i stopped focusing on how you make me feel and start thinking about how i make you feel, it wouldn't be as big of an issue.

- i'm sorry that, even tho i think i've forgiven you, i really haven't because i still feel entitled to an apology. if i were ever to confront you and apologize, i still can't bring myself to just say sorry - i would probably say, "i'm sorry but you understand that i couldn't help it cuz you started it."

- i'm sorry that i expect so much from you. once again, i need to take the focus away from myself.

- i'm sorry that i can't talk to you without that edge in my voice. i'll try to speak more softly.

- i'm sorry that my first reaction is: "what do you want?" maybe all you want is to talk to your sister.

- i'm sorry that i can't be more helpful around the house. you've really spoiled me.

- i'm sorry that i take advantage of our friendship. i hope you realize that you mean so much to me.

- i'm sorry Lord for failing time and time again. Thank you for loving me still. you don't love me for who i am, but you love me because of who you are..

a lot of my relationships have issues because of pride. sometimes it's me, sometimes the other, and sometimes it's both (most of the time). Lord break me. it's kind of scary to think what's on the other side, but it's gotta be better than this. i used be tired because i tried so hard, but now, i'm just tired of my own bitching (excuse the language).

in the words of my dear friend luptuous: suck it up princess!