people are drawn to people who can't help themselves. i think it's because most people like to help other people because then they feel needed and that gives them purpose in life, or at least for that short period of time. i think that's why many times i acted like i couldn't when i could. especially with guys. i've found that in most situations, it's actually the easiest way to get to know someone and the fastest way to get over a fight.

but even though i was acting, i really wasn't.. if that makes any sense. i really wanted someone to be there for me, so in that sense, i guess i really couldn't do it alone.

but as i get older, i guess i'm just getting tired of these mind games. i just want to be able to help someone when they need help and be helped when i need help w/o complications. wow. how can something so simple be so hard?

i also think it's because i've spent so much of my life being dependent on others i've lost a sense of who i am. haha, that almost sounds ridiculous. i'm having an identity crisis @ age 24. how stupid is that?

i think it's time i stood on my own. and it's time i become the person people look to when they're in need. as hard as it may be to believe, i really like being needed. it does give a person a sense of fulfillment when they feel like they were able to fulfill someone else's need, doesn't it?

need me, people! i need you to need me.