i just don't wanna.

just yesterday, i had a mini-panic attack b/c i realized it's less than 10 days til my first 2 finals, which happen to be the 2 classes i am the most behind and totally lost in. i was determined to study my ass off for the next few weeks until i will finally be done with my second to last semester of law school.

today, i just don't feel like dealing with any of it. i donno. all of my strength, any willpower i had yesterday is all gone. and i don't care. i almost don't care if i fail all my classes this semester.

to be totally honest, i don't care about anything. is this what it feels likes? this feeling of total defeat + apathy. i just don't have the energy to do anything about anything anymore. and if i don't do it, and i lose it all, i'll be ok with it. i could curl up and just stop being and that could possibly be the only thing that would make me happy right now.

i'm just so exhausted.

no, i'm not depressed. and please don't ask me "what's wrong?" b/c i just don't feel like dealing with anyone right now. i don't want your sympathy, your empathy, your anything. let me be my selfish self and stay out of my path.