i know that as a Christian, we are supposed to put our trust in God. we know that God has already planned out everything according to His will. we know that His will is so much bigger and better than what we could fathom. we know that He has never let us down before. we know that God is a loving God and that He has great things planned for us. yet i find myself wallowing in my own stupidity all the time. i find myself wonderin... worrying.. xP why am i so faithless? how am i supposed to go out and demonstrate my faith when i can't even do it for myself? and when i can't defend my faith here, how am i supposed to do it there? as it draws closer for my departure date, i find myself getting more and more worried. more anxious. more faithless. why am i going? if i can't answer that question, why am i going??