it's amazing what you can do once you put your mind to it...

the past few months have been very tumultuous for me. in a lot of ways, it was because of my own inability to follow through what i already knew i had to do. the past 3 days have been very liberating for me. i've been able to do things according to myself instead of basing them on other people and what they would think about me, etc etc. life is so much easier if you live the way you know you can instead of the way that you think you're supposed to. all you need are a few feasible guidelines to make your goal even more attainable. especially with the bazillions of things out there that i should be paying more attention to and praying about, i find it so selfish of me to go on living the way that i have been. i've been crying out in my own sufferings and my own hardships, but in doing so, i forget about the people that i love. the people that i said i'd pray for. the people that i am so grateful to have in my life and should be thanking God for everyday. when you don't concentrate on your own problems, i think they just disappear. but me.. being the major drama queen that i am, over-think, over-analyze, and over-dwell on my own issues. i want to start focusing on other people. mang~ i hope that i can stop thinking about myself...T-T but i'm probably the most selfish person in the entire universe, i don't know if i'll be able to do it. *sigh* but i really want to try. my dwelling on myself is not making myself feel any better anyway... so i guess thinking about other people is actually the more selfish thing to do in my case. i'll feel better about myself, and my problems will seem like nothing.....right?? i think sometimes i LIKE to suffer. xP otherwise, why would i put up with this? i'm such a drama mama.. xP aigooooo~~

hey evelyn~ i never see you at church anymore... how am i supposed to get you the magazine? xP hmmm... look for me this sunday, k? x) miss ya girl~!