With every choice you make, you are either going toward God or away from Him...one or the other, pick and choose...it's as simple as that
I read that on someone's profile today, and it made me think. It's so true! Just like it says in the Bible that we can't be lukewarm in our faith, we can't be lukewarm in our choices either. I'm really good at that.. acting as mediator between my family has given me much practice as a "fence-sitter." For me, it's easier to just be kinda in the middle so that I'm not ever really wrong. I think that's what makes me so passionless. I don't have zeal because I'm so concerned about being right with everyone. But that's not the way it should be. Jesus even said that He has come with a sword to bring father against son, and mother against daughter. But I'm the type of person that's always aiming to please. I'll try and try until I totally burn myself out. It's not fun, yet I keep doing it because I don't know how to be any other way.
Last night, someone told me that I analyze things too much. I want every single detail analyzed and every single thing to come together and make sense to me. haha~ I know that's how I am. That's what makes me so frustrating, I suppose. I need things to make sense, but some things just don't make sense~ Like God's love for us. It doesn't make sense that the Creator would take His own Son and sacrifice Him for me. Like God's mercy for us. How can He continue to pursue me when I am always falling away from Him? God doesn't make sense! But I hold onto that desperately. I want to be less analytical and more passionate! *sigh* But I'm such a retard...
Missions Update:
I'm still looking for an organization to go with... I need to be more diligent in looking. I'm praying that I get this one spot that might be opening up, but they're not sure yet. I also need to get cracking on my support letter, and getting my passport.. so many things to take care of~~ But it'll all fall into place... I know it will. My heart is a lot more calmer now, I think. I want to do this, but I don't feel anxious like before. I feel more and more like it's what I should do. I'm itching to go.... woah~ so weird... danlee should know what I'm talking about... haha~ I used to be so violently opposed to going to missions... I think I almost bit his head off when he suggested that I go... ahaha~ (sorry danlee..) but I'm waiting for my turn now.
I read that on someone's profile today, and it made me think. It's so true! Just like it says in the Bible that we can't be lukewarm in our faith, we can't be lukewarm in our choices either. I'm really good at that.. acting as mediator between my family has given me much practice as a "fence-sitter." For me, it's easier to just be kinda in the middle so that I'm not ever really wrong. I think that's what makes me so passionless. I don't have zeal because I'm so concerned about being right with everyone. But that's not the way it should be. Jesus even said that He has come with a sword to bring father against son, and mother against daughter. But I'm the type of person that's always aiming to please. I'll try and try until I totally burn myself out. It's not fun, yet I keep doing it because I don't know how to be any other way.
Last night, someone told me that I analyze things too much. I want every single detail analyzed and every single thing to come together and make sense to me. haha~ I know that's how I am. That's what makes me so frustrating, I suppose. I need things to make sense, but some things just don't make sense~ Like God's love for us. It doesn't make sense that the Creator would take His own Son and sacrifice Him for me. Like God's mercy for us. How can He continue to pursue me when I am always falling away from Him? God doesn't make sense! But I hold onto that desperately. I want to be less analytical and more passionate! *sigh* But I'm such a retard...
Missions Update:
I'm still looking for an organization to go with... I need to be more diligent in looking. I'm praying that I get this one spot that might be opening up, but they're not sure yet. I also need to get cracking on my support letter, and getting my passport.. so many things to take care of~~ But it'll all fall into place... I know it will. My heart is a lot more calmer now, I think. I want to do this, but I don't feel anxious like before. I feel more and more like it's what I should do. I'm itching to go.... woah~ so weird... danlee should know what I'm talking about... haha~ I used to be so violently opposed to going to missions... I think I almost bit his head off when he suggested that I go... ahaha~ (sorry danlee..) but I'm waiting for my turn now.
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