how great is God? obviously He is very very great. but in my life, have i let Him be as great as He can be? do i walk into every situation holding God's hand? i don't think i have. i guess i'm still holding onto the hope that i can actually make a difference on my own. this isn't possible, but sometimes it's so hard to let go. it's hard to let go of people that you think you can be good for, but i think in the end, you end up being bad for them. i've been struggling a lot with my shortcomings. not just in the spiritual aspect, but even in things such as friendship. it's hard to let people be. haha, i guess i'm just the annoying type. i want to hold on, even when my holding on is causing grief and making problems for myself. i guess it's just my battle with feelings and knowledge again. we went over Romans 8 today in Bible study. wow. what a great chapter! i don't think i ever really realized how secure i am in His love. i'm always unsure. unsure that one day i might do something so horrible that God could never forgive me. unsure about whether God could really love someone as horrible as myself. unsure that i will ever be able to do anything to please Him. unsure about myself, my worth. but it says in the Bible that nothing, not even death, can separate me from the love of Jesus. what great news! and yet.. how hard it is to truly believe it without any doubt... yeah, i think i KNOW it, but it's just hard to FEEL it sometimes. i'm so tired. i have another japanese test tomorrow. i should really study. but i think i'm just going to sleep. i've been battling with myself all day. trying to figure out what it is that really want. what the heck do i want? i don't know. i think i'm just so emotionally and mentally drained. i don't know why, but i've been having a lot of internal struggles. about who i've become, and how i don't like who i've become. and trying to deal with it, i suppose. I'M SO SECURE, You're here with me! you stay the same, Your LOVE REMAINS! no matter what~! and let me hold on to the simplicity of that fact! help me to remember that in all things You are with me, so i can make it through each day.....teach me to say "it is well, it is well with my soul!"