hello everyone..
well this is probably the first time that i'm actually writing on the web so people can read it.. hehe, weird.. so don't be too frightened by the things that i write..
i guess i'm just bloggin because i don't want to study (the story of my life..hehe) and i guess it's stress relieving to write. it's so strange. i don't think i should have anything to be stressed about. my lil sisters and some friends came up for the wkend. it was ok. kinda crazy, and a lil stressful because of some drama, but then it was ok. i mean, nothing too bad. and it was nice to have them up here for a bit (for a bit, mind u.. i'm glad they're gone now.. hahaha~ love ya haerie and mierie!) but i don't know. other than that.. and some other crisis here and there, things are ok. i guess it's hard though, because there are some ppl in my life that were always there that are missing now. it makes it hard to be ok... it's hard when you lose the people that are special to u. especially when you know that it's u that messed up and made it that way. why do i always mess up, u ask? i don't know.. why don't we ask God.. -__-;; because He's the only one that knows what is in this screwy head of mine and what it is that makes me do and say the things that i do...
*sigh* sometimes it's just hard being. you kno? just living.. it's hard to pretend that things are ok when u know deep down that they aren't. it's harder to pretend that you're ok with things when you're really not. hard to put into words how you feel, and hard to express them without saying things wrong. it's hard to really be ok with the way things happen, even when you know that it's for the best... ya kno? i wish too much.. i can sit here all night and think up a bazillion wishes and wish that they would all come true. hehe.. but then i guess life would be sorta boring. you would be able to wish all the things that you don't like away, and all the things that you want here. but it would be nice sometimes to have that power.. i think too much. haha~ i should do more productive things with my time, huh? i don't know. man~ i can't seem to get into the swing of things.. school.. ech. it's school.. i can't get into the swing~ and it's already fifth week! -__-;; i guess i should just pull myself together and get it done..huh? it's so hard though.. when there are things that are missing.. people that are missing. *sigh* i screwed up big time, huh?
and to make things harder i promised myself that i wouldn't think about guys anymore. they're nothing but trouble (trust me haerie and mierie.. u don't need them until waaaay later..) they cause nothing but unwanted stress. i admit, it's nice to have someone, but i don't know if it's worth it right now. but then that makes me SO bored.. (haha) but yeah.. usually when things like this hit me, i'd just look for a guy to at least like from afar.. u kno? just that unattainable thing.. but now, i'm trying to keep my mind off of that too. so i have nothing to think about except for my boring boring life.. -___-;; it's hard, man~ haha~ i'm so boy-crazy haha... well, anywho.. i guess i should be somewhat productive today and at least get some sleep. haha~ NIGHT!!
well this is probably the first time that i'm actually writing on the web so people can read it.. hehe, weird.. so don't be too frightened by the things that i write..
i guess i'm just bloggin because i don't want to study (the story of my life..hehe) and i guess it's stress relieving to write. it's so strange. i don't think i should have anything to be stressed about. my lil sisters and some friends came up for the wkend. it was ok. kinda crazy, and a lil stressful because of some drama, but then it was ok. i mean, nothing too bad. and it was nice to have them up here for a bit (for a bit, mind u.. i'm glad they're gone now.. hahaha~ love ya haerie and mierie!) but i don't know. other than that.. and some other crisis here and there, things are ok. i guess it's hard though, because there are some ppl in my life that were always there that are missing now. it makes it hard to be ok... it's hard when you lose the people that are special to u. especially when you know that it's u that messed up and made it that way. why do i always mess up, u ask? i don't know.. why don't we ask God.. -__-;; because He's the only one that knows what is in this screwy head of mine and what it is that makes me do and say the things that i do...
*sigh* sometimes it's just hard being. you kno? just living.. it's hard to pretend that things are ok when u know deep down that they aren't. it's harder to pretend that you're ok with things when you're really not. hard to put into words how you feel, and hard to express them without saying things wrong. it's hard to really be ok with the way things happen, even when you know that it's for the best... ya kno? i wish too much.. i can sit here all night and think up a bazillion wishes and wish that they would all come true. hehe.. but then i guess life would be sorta boring. you would be able to wish all the things that you don't like away, and all the things that you want here. but it would be nice sometimes to have that power.. i think too much. haha~ i should do more productive things with my time, huh? i don't know. man~ i can't seem to get into the swing of things.. school.. ech. it's school.. i can't get into the swing~ and it's already fifth week! -__-;; i guess i should just pull myself together and get it done..huh? it's so hard though.. when there are things that are missing.. people that are missing. *sigh* i screwed up big time, huh?
and to make things harder i promised myself that i wouldn't think about guys anymore. they're nothing but trouble (trust me haerie and mierie.. u don't need them until waaaay later..) they cause nothing but unwanted stress. i admit, it's nice to have someone, but i don't know if it's worth it right now. but then that makes me SO bored.. (haha) but yeah.. usually when things like this hit me, i'd just look for a guy to at least like from afar.. u kno? just that unattainable thing.. but now, i'm trying to keep my mind off of that too. so i have nothing to think about except for my boring boring life.. -___-;; it's hard, man~ haha~ i'm so boy-crazy haha... well, anywho.. i guess i should be somewhat productive today and at least get some sleep. haha~ NIGHT!!
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